i got to go home

So Thursday lindsey came to visit had the ultrasounds and everything was looking good... my cervix is still the same and the babies are doing well. Madelyn was 2 pounds 9 oz.. Abigail was 2 pounds 4 oz and was no longer breech :) the doctor consulted with my doctor at the hospital and said if darnell agreed then I got to transfer back... my doctor old me Thursday that we should have an answer Friday morning..

Friday morning I got a phone call from my specialist at darnell who said I hear you are still pregnant I said yes I am. He said well that's a miracle. He said that I could go home on strict bedrest and would be seeing him on the 3rd of April and that if I needed anything before then I should come to labor and delivery.. he said that ill be seeing him every one to two weeks until I deliver.. I cried. I was so happy

So matt came and got me all packed up since I had a bunch of stuff at the hospital lol.. then we were on our way. So glad I had Mollie as my nurse that day I will really miss her..

The ride was long but that's mostly because I hadn't sat up for that long in a long time. So we got home and I relaxed while matt got everything unpacked and then we needed to get diapers and he had to sign back in from leave.. so I went along.. first he signed in I sat in the car.. then we went to Walmart.. he returned some things while I took the motorized wheelchair to get some diapers for Amelia.. then we decided to stop by Carolina ale house for dinner since I was feeling okay and such.. we were only there a short time but boy was it delishhhhhhhhh.... then we headed home..

Saturday matt had some friends over and we cooked out.. I sat on the couch lol. But the food and company was great.. :)

And yesterday we just relaxed all day.. family nap time all around.. lol..

Today matt went back to work.. I was quite worried about how it would go.. Amelia hasn't been listening to me but today she has done fairly well. We had lindsey and Lizzy over this morning. The girls got to play and we got to sit and talk.. and then Amelia let me take a cat nap while she played on her nabi.. currently shes napping and I'm just relaxing..

27 weeks wahoo!!!

so yesterday I just hung out. I swear I could have eaten a horse yesterday! I ate and ate and ate.. seriously couldn't stop eating. lol
and then I found a fun app kinda like Farmville but its now Farmville lol.. and then I went to bed. was uneventful but good

Today is 27 weeks!!!!!!  We are at the point where the babies have a very good survival rate! and matt and Amelia got up early and came to visit for the day! we had a family nap lol not all in the same bed but same room and Amelia snuggled me it was so nice! then we went outside and enjoyed the sunlight and then I got a baked potato from the potato bar ;) it was yum. I think anytime that they have that as an option and im down there that will be what I get..

Tomorrow I have Lindsey coming to visit and then an ultrasound at some point and the weekly pessary care. hoping for good news.. and then more talks with the doctor about going back to darnell.. she said she is on board as long as they can agree to certain things.. if not I will be asking the hard ? of when do I get to leave.. and can I get a different room so im not staring at the same 4 walls for much longer.. tomorrow is a month since I came here.

I think the thing I struggling with currently is that I know matt is leaving in a few weeks for deployment.. and here I am we aren't getting any time together as a family besides the days they visit but of course its not the same.. and what the hell are we going to do if he has to leave and I haven't had the girls and am still in the hospital or on bedrest.. we still need to pack the house up I need to pack a bag.. and holy smokes it kills. just so much to deal with. so fingers crossed and prayers please that we get what we really need and I go back to darnell or best case scenario home on strict bedrest.. <3

almost to 27 weeks..

So lets see Saturday Matthew and Amelia came to visit me. we had pluckers for dinner and hung out for a few hours. Was great as always to see them.

Yesterday I woke up and had breakfast finished Allegiant and then caught up on some shows.. I will totally say the divergent series is a great read. I was skeptical it took a bit to get into but then it ended up being great! then Erin and her husband nick who I haven't seen for 2 years came to visit because they were in Austin. They are moving to Dallas so they have to go house hunting and they were visiting and family. :D So glad they came to visit! of course they came bearing gifts of sweet and sour gummies and magazines and water flavoring :D we also went downstairs and had dinner. was nice to visit with them and catch up and get out of my room..

Today im up and have showered and spoken with my doctor. now just waiting on hubs and Amelia to visit :D I think hes bringing lunch ;) cannot wait!

Holy Packages Batman..

Well as you can see ive gotten a bunch of stuff the last few days! lol.
I just want to thank everyone who has sent me anything.. words of encouragement a package a card or flowers.. you all really have brightened up being here!

So lets see yesterday I saw my nurse then saw the volunteer who brought a box then saw my doctor then my social worker and then had a visitor thanks to Doris all within a few hours of being awake.. lol then I was weighed.. ive gained 10 pounds this pregnancy 8 of which ive gained in the last two weeks.. no one is concerned since well im tiny for twins. lol.

That's me at 26 weeks..
Ive finished reading Insurgent and started Allegiant...
My nurse who took me outside a few days ago dropped  by for a visit since she hasn't had me since then. She even facebooked me lol. :D
Today is rainy and drab outside the window.. but I get to see my loves around lunchtime.. im off to read until my breakfast comes!

more news to report!

So today was a very good day! Woke up had a shower and breakfast and then read a bit before the doctor came to visit. She removed and cleaned my pessary and then put it back and checked my cervix. she said she thinks im still about 1cm so no real change!!! :D seriously good news! today marks 3 weeks in the hospital! matt and Amelia came to visit and stayed about 6 hours! :D we hung out and then went outside to sit for a bit in the "park".. Amelia got to run around which she loved and we got to laugh at the silly ways she does things. was nice to feel the air and the sun and just take it all in. then matt got me a little cup of cheese and pepperoni since ive been craving cheese and crackers :D yum! lol! and he brought the stuff that my mom sent! girl scout cookies a bag of pull and peel twizzlers chocolate covered animal crackers and a large hersheys bar!!! :D and I got a package from one of my besties Autumn.. she sent this adorable box that had Swedish fish peach rings licorice and sour gummy worms.. ps it was from www.gourmetgiftbaskets.com... seriously an awesome gift I have tons of chocolate and not a bunch of fruity! :D and I like to share the links if its ordered from somewhere because some of these I had never heard of :D

After matt and Amelia left I watched American idol team Alex and Malaya and Mk :D but was still sad to see the person go because it was one that I liked...  And now im off to drink some fluids since I didn't drink a ton today like yesterday to munch on my cheese and crackers and read Insurgent im about 43 percent in.. may stay awake to read it all.. I have to be weighed tomorrow... ahhhh my least favorite part even though I know its important to gain! ;)

night all

busy weekend

Sorry its been a few days.. Matthew and Amelia came the other day for a short visit and we had a late lunch before they headed home to be there when his mom and grandmother got there. Then they came down the next afternoon and we ordered food in and went downstairs to eat... was nice to see his family. :) then he came down the next day alone and stayed the afternoon and night with me. Was nice to have time just us. Then he went home to spend the day with his family. They left last night/this morning  to head back home and matt and Amelia stayed home and cleaned\relaxed today.. tomorrow they are going to come visit.

In the past few days I have received flowers and read Divergent and started Insurgent... Ive caught up on all my shows and watched 2 seasons of 2 broke girls.. I've also been having a lot more pain\soreness.. not sure if its all the babies kicking and moving combined with being in bed for 3weeks as of tomorrow or if my body is getting ready for labor... we've made it to 26 weeks as of today. Tomorrow they will take the pessary out like they do weekly and clean and put back as well as check my cervix for changes.. not sure how much longer ill be pregnant but I know that everyday helps them. Next week they will ultrasound the babies to check their growth as well as checking my cervix length which I assume will be non existent since last week it was 2mm.. heres to good news! Will update more soon.

every new day

Every new day I wake up im thankful. Thankful that im breathing that im healthy that I get to live another day surrounded by people who love me even if they aren't right here near me. Im thankful that I can complain about life but still know how to be appreciative. im thankful im still pregnant and haven't delivered our two babies yet. So take a minute and look at all the positives in your life don't let the negative hold you back. move on past them and face the world with a smile. it will surely change your day!

I smelled fresh air!

Yesterday was a fantastic day! I woke up crabby bc they came at 6:30 for my meds then 7 for blood work and 7:30 for vitals and baby heart rates.. so I ordered breakfast and tried to nap and then dad called and mom called so I just said ill just stay awake! around 11:30 my nurse came in and said I wanted to ask if you wanted to go downstairs and have lunch with me. She said normally I wouldn't ask but since I know your husband only comes on the weekends and you just got wheelchair privileges... I of course said heck yes!!! so into a chair I went and down we went. I had tilapia and rice since I cant get that on a normal basis.. and a Fanta.. bubbly and caffeine free :D we sat in the little park! it was slightly windy but warm enough to not wear a coat and the sun was shining. I said no to dessert since I still had strawberries in my room. then I came back upstairs and just kind of hung out and relaxed. I started my 1500 piece puzzle and then ordered dinner.. found a second thing on the menu I don't like.. their mac and cheese.. its like homemade but its gritty.. :/ ew! lol ill stick with the garlic mashed potatoes :D


Today I woke up late and had breakfast.. then I showered and now im just waiting on Matt and Amelia to visit.. I think the thing that gets me here is that slowly the stuff going on in my life gets to my doctors and when they mention it and I elaborate about everything going on outside of this hospital room they are amazed at how im not depressed and going crazy. I said I cant change anything that's happening outside of here. I can only hope things will get better and take the good with the bad and smile. I do cry I do break down but then I pick myself up and move on. sometimes a snickers helps or just a card or a visit and other days I just want my husband or to hear his voice and im better. but ive learned to deal with things and I choose the way that's positive. Everything happens for a reason. I don't know that reason nor will I ever but what I do know is if I face it instead of hiding from it it has to get better.

25 weeks and a whole lot of stuff going on...

So Monday my brother and dad came to see me and then a little later Matt and Amelia came as well.
We had Chinese for dinner and just hung out.. Dad brought me some pj pants/leggings a coloring book and crayons to pass the time some highlighters and a word search book and some hair ties.. Matt and Amelia stayed the night and then got up at 6 and drove home for matt to get back to work..

Tuesday Bobby and dad came back and hung out again. he brought snacks and a puzzle this time and then we had pizza a little later did some coloring <3 and then matt and Amelia came back to visit a bit to before we said goodbye. We had a good time. was emotional and all over the place but good..
Matt and Amelia stayed with me til I went to bed since I was emotional to make sure I was okay before they headed home for bed (they left pretty late but It was nice to have matts support)

So because those days I was up and moving and everything I decided to stay strictly in bed yesterday besides the bathroom and a shower. I wasn't really up to doing much just felt blah. then Morgan and Lindsey came to visit me and have dinner with me. we just opted for hospital food which might I add is pretty delish but ive had everything on the menu multiple times and am rather bored with it ;)

Today I woke up to a facebook message from kelly saying hey you should get a little surprise today! And sure enough I did! Chocolate covered strawberries which are delish! (totally recommend sharis berries... www.berries.com ) And I got two cards in the mail today as well! always cool getting mail something to brighten the day! especially when you aren't expecting it!.

This morning they were checking the babies heart rates and abby was laying on her cord making her hr drop but after moving around she got off of it! and then I saw two doctors today! the one is the specialist.. she did an ultrasound to check my cervix and then cleaned and re did the pessary.. good and bad news.. cervix is still only 1 cm dialated but instead of 1.3cm in length like 2 weeks ago its now 2mm in length! very short! and then my normal doctor is back from vacation so she came to talk to me.. said in 2 weeks she will consider sending me back to our hospital instead of here but they have to make sure the other hospital will take me back and all of that so its up in the air.. also im allowed to have wheelchair rides when I have someone to push me :D I will see the outside of these 4 walls soon! It makes me nervous! last time I went for a ride was the day I went into labor..

I feel like my body is failing me. Like why could I carry Amelia no problem and so forth to term no dilation til the day I delivered but now I can barely keep these two little ones in.. I feel like one wrong movement or one wrong kick from them and my water will break since its right at the opening of my cervix. its hard to feel like nothing you are doing is working.. or I question myself like had I quit working sooner would it have changed something.. had I gained more weight would it have helped.. I know they say it was nothing I did but I surely feel like its my fault..

Theres so much I cant put into words here that is on my mind but that will have to wait for now. thanks for reading if you are still reading this! it really helps me get it all out

lots going on..

yesterday was a hectic, crazy, emotional day..

woke up and their flight said cancelled so I called and then my brothers friend said oh its not cancelled so they get there and just find out they weren't on the flight so the airline got them another flight but from a different airport so they hopped in the car and got on their way.. I was on the phone with Alamo/expedia about the car for well over 2 hours yesterday.. talked to dad before they boarded.. plane was supposed to leave at 630 left at 710.. they finally got to dallas at 930 and had to get to Alamo by 11... so I got a text saying they got a car at 1050 I was finally relieved for the first time... normally its a 3 hour drive from dallas to Austin but it took them 5ish because of the weather being bad/icey..


Matt and Amelia and I skyped a bunch yesterday.. they were going to come down but their nap ran a little long ;) and so it would have been too late plus the weather wasn't good. they are hopefully coming this evening so they can see my dad and brother as well.

I was super emotional yesterday cried everytime my nurse said how are you doing today do you need anything.. matt was kinda cranky on the phone I cried... I just have been holding it all together for so long that I finally let it all out yesterday. and my nurse said how about I give you an ambien ( safe for babies and I can take it daily but I normally don't ) and I said yes please so I knew I would relax and get a good nights sleep! so about 1130 I took that told everyone goodnight and passed out. woke up at 130 to go to the bathroom and back t sleep til about 540ish this morning. then I spoke with matt and asked for my protonix meds since normally I get that at 630 and back to sleep til 830 :D it was nice to just sleep. I was hoping id be a little less emotional today but its not looking like that's the case..

haven't really cried but im on the verge of tears. :/ im so excited to see my brother and my dad and Amelia and matt so im not quite sure why I feel so emotional but ill just blame it on hormones today ;)

oh its the weekend...yup nothing new

Had a great and awful day yesterday... lemme explain
Matt came to see me and we spent the day evening night together just hanging out and we ordered food in. Was nice to not eat hospital food for a day even if the hospital food is good... 😃
 also yester for the awful part was hearing news about my brother since he went to the doctor.. not really going to explain but then I got to Skype with family that I don't normally see and then my dad called and said he and my brother were going to come visit me on Sunday! That's a huge deal.. I'm from pa and stuck in a hospital in Texas... we live here because my husband is stationed here.. so tomorrow evening they will land in Texas just down the road from me 😃 
Today I woke up with matt in the same room which is nice since its been a week since that happened and then he stayed a bit before going home and getting ready for the rodeo :) he won tickets before I landed here lol.. tomorrow him and Amelia will come visit for a bit as well!!